When I was a kid, I was pretty obsessed with the Sega Genesis game Shaq Fu. I’m not sure why, I didn’t even particularly like playing it, which makes sense considering that it has been widely cited as one of the worst video games of all time. Maybe imagining a 7 footer kicking major ass was just something that a kid could really get in to. Actually, I guess that’s still the case for me, and if it is for anyone else out there, the world will soon have an opportunity to revisit this rare spectacle.
Tomorrow, David Haye will face off against Nikolay Valuev for the WBA World Heavyweight Boxing Title. The bout is being advertised as a battle of “David vs. Goliath,” a cliche that is thrown around lightly in the sports world, quite often as a stupid marketing ploy to hype an otherwise boring event. Not this time however, this is a true matchup of David and Goliath, or in this case David against Nikolay. David Haye has weighed in at 15-stone 8lb — yes, the Brits still use “stone” as a measurement, which is 14 pounds — making him 218 pounds, while Nikolay Valuev has tipped the scales at 22st 8lb, or 316 pounds — oh yeah, he’s also 7-feet tall and looks remarkably ursine.
This should be an outrageous fight, whatever the outcome. Either the half-man, half-giant Valuev is going to use the cornrowed head of Haye as a punching bag, or the smaller, nimbler Haye is going to pull off an upset by dancing around his Shrek-like opponent. Either way, it should be amusing. By the way, that is Don King in the background, so you know he’s promoted a hell of a match.
If you can’t wait to see a huge guy deliver a beatdown, check out this video in the meantime. (Note: Pardon the violence and scary/bad Rammstein German music)
tweedle dee tweedle dom 