Jon & Kate Adopt Ballon Boy?!?!

No, that’s a lie, but I have an embarrassing confession to make. — I’ve joined Twitter. Ok, not so bad. It’s not like I’m admitting that I read the Twilight books or anything. Though it’s hard to kick the feeling that I’ve joined some sort of cult of self-aggrandizing celebrities and their stalkers, Twitter is undeniably and increasingly becoming a powerful tool in the up-and-coming world of digital media. Twitter is also full of helpful and interesting users who post more than just cleverly worded 140-character descriptions of their rather mundane lives (no offense most of the people on Twitter, now including myself). I’ve been tracking a few members for a long time, but now that I’m a real twitterer (tweeter?) and not just a follower, I can become a more valuable member of this social-network.

First order of business — push “Jon & Kate adopt Balloon Boy” to the top of the trending keywords. Second order of business — hire a ghost twitterer who can tweet just like me so I don’t have to spend the 30 seconds a day doing it myself.

Oh my god, this is hysterical

For those of you who, like me, are ardent lovers of such hilarious sites as

• www.fmylife.com
• www.textsfromlastnight.com
• www.hotchickswithdouchebags.com

I give you www.tweetingtoohard.com , and www.twouchebags.com

These sites, dedicated to finding tweeters with fantastically overinflated senses of self worth are nothing if not perfect. Highlights include:

• I gave my cleaning lady a raise today, even though she didn’t ask, as my own little contribution to fighting the recession. (@brettschulte)
• I feel bad for the girl on the train who was cuddling with a guy who would not stop staring at me. (@lianegraham)
• Fucked up the Benz today! 2nd car in a month! Its ok tho sushi & sake with my bestie roxy (@chanelwestcoast)

Unbelievable.