In case you were wondering…

Today was a raisin filled day. I had Raisin-Bran Crunch for breakfast. At lunchtime, I enjoyed a few Sun-Maid goldens. Shortly thereafter I snacked on some chocolate and yogurt covered raisins. Later still, I was offered some regular old, run of the mill raisins. Weird, I know, but do me a favor and stay with me for a second.

Amidst this onslaught of raisins, two facts came to my attention: 1) regular raisins are made from green grapes* and, 2) golden raisins are approximately 562% better than regular raisins**. As per usual, I set out to explore this knowledge.

Now, I may have been extremely naïve or uninformed, but before today, I’d always been under the impression that regular raisins were made from purple grapes, and golden raisins from green ones. This, of course, is far too simple and logical an explanation.

As it turns out, both traditional raisins and golden ones are made using the same variety of green grape, the Sultana. The difference of the dried fruit’s color the lies within the method of dehydration. Traditional raisins are sun-dried, and thus owe their darkened color to sun exposure. Golden raisins are treated somewhat differently. In order to preserve the light color, the grapes are oven dried, and then treated with sulfur dioxide. This also makes for a meatier raisin***. Or so they say.

Other things I learned in my quest to know more about raisins:

• Zante currants are not made from currants but rather from black Corinth grapes. I want to know why they don’t just call them Zante raisins. Stupid, is what it is.
• Grapes and raisins can be toxic to canines. I found this particularly upsetting because I often share grapes with my dog****.
• Between the 16th and 19th century, there existed a game called Snap-Dragon, in which raisins were extracted from a punch-bowl of flaming brandy. It’s unclear what they did with the brandy once the raisins were removed, but it can’t have been particularly responsible.
• The Sun-Maid girl does yoga.

* I discovered this on the back of the big bag of Raisenets.

** I estimated this by applying my deep knowledge and keen understanding of correct choices and percentages.

*** This makes sense. If you leave a person out in the sun for a while, he/she makes the same transition as a grape does to raisin; turns brown and dry and wrinkly. Furthermore, the apparent reason for which golden raisins are so exponentially superior to the traditional variety is that golden ones are treated with chemicals. Like McDonald’s. And outdoor music festivals.

**** I’m not that worried about it, though. He once at 1 kg (2.2 lbs) of Swiss baking and semi-sweet chocolate, which is many times the lethal dose for a dog his size. Armed with this evidence, I’m fairly certain he’s indestructible by any means of gastrointestinal sabotage.